My thoughts and feelings about epilepsy

 　　post on Douyin (TikTok) claims that epilepsy is the new "super virus" of 2025. Since the end of the COVID-19 vaccine rollout, some hospitals have seen a surge in epilepsy patients, one after another, continuously.

　　Epilepsy, commonly known as "seizures," is a chronic, recurrent, and transient syndrome of brain dysfunction, characterized by recurrent epileptic seizures caused by abnormal discharges of brain neurons. Due to the different starting points and transmission methods of abnormal discharges, epilepsy symptoms are diverse: including generalized convulsions, convulsions of one side or a single limb, talking to oneself, chewing, swallowing, aimless wandering, excessive limb movement, limb numbness, shouting, etc.

　　It can be said that there are countless strange movements that occur during epileptic seizures, and most importantly, as an epilepsy patient, you are often unaware of the seizure itself. Last night, out of boredom, I couldn't help but scroll through my phone. Out of curiosity about epilepsy, I unintentionally searched for information about it on Baidu. To my surprise, I came across a video on my phone where a doctor said that epilepsy is caused by stress, and that excessive pressure gradually leads to epilepsy.

　　For me, a childhood fever left me with the potential for epilepsy. The stress of boarding school in sixth grade gradually triggered seizures, year after year, and even now, I haven't escaped the condition. Because of this illness, I can't continue my studies, can't work, and can't go to the city I want to visit. As an epilepsy patient, spending long periods on my phone is impossible, and I can't tolerate emotional stimulation; excitement and stress can easily trigger a seizure. The main problem is that I'm almost unaware of when I have a seizure. Recently, my condition hasn't been good; I'm having seizures from time to time. If Mr. Chen hadn't told me, I probably wouldn't even know I had the disease. Epilepsy is indeed a dangerous disease. Life is difficult, and disease prevention is everyone's responsibility.

　　Epilepsy is a disease with a long treatment cycle. Since being diagnosed, I recall going to Changsha and getting various medications from my doctor many times. Frankly, I often wonder when this disease will end. Western medicine has certain side effects; if I really have to take medication for the rest of my life, I'd rather die a quick and painless death. In my opinion, some diseases with long treatment cycles are more painful than those that quickly and easily take lives. I haven't experienced other diseases, so I can't comment on them, but epilepsy truly took half my life. The doctor said never to upset epilepsy patients, as prolonged anger can worsen their condition and make seizures more frequent. So, since being diagnosed, I've become much more accepting of the situation, avoiding anger and putting too much pressure on myself, intending to let things take their natural course.

　　I don't know how many people in the world suffer from epilepsy, what causes other patients to develop this condition, what anti-epileptic drugs they take, or how many have already recovered and regained their health. But regardless, I hope all epilepsy patients can overcome this disease, and that all those battling epilepsy can succeed.

　　Go, every epilepsy patient! May we all recover soon, may we all be free from the torment of epilepsy, may we all recover without recurrence, and may epilepsy be eradicated from the world!

　　...

Foreword and Postscript to the Collection of Essays "Light Clouds and Gentle Breeze"

 　　October 2nd this year marked my seventieth birthday. As a significant milestone in my life, I decided to celebrate by publishing a collection of my literary works. Thus, this collection, *Light Clouds and Gentle Breeze*, was born.

　　The book presented to you is composed of four parts: essays, short stories, poems, and miscellaneous writings, containing 64 articles written over the past two years. These include 30 essays, 23 short stories, 6 poems, and 5 miscellaneous writings, totaling 230,000 words. The articles are arranged chronologically by writing date. 33 of the essays and short stories were published on the China Writers Network.

　　From this collection, one can essentially understand my life trajectory and emotional journey over the past two years. While seemingly ordinary, it contains many genuine and vivid stories. If I were to summarize the book's essence in one sentence, I would say it emphasizes moving the reader with emotion. Family affection, friendship, love, and genuine human feelings are prominently featured, promoting positive social energy.

　　Essays reflecting family affection, such as "A Warm Experience in Spring" and "A Trip to the Medicine Capital with a Mission," depict the blood ties between mothers and children, brothers and sisters, and husbands and wives. Articles expressing sincere friendship include "Experiencing the Sentiments of Poyang Lake in Grain Rain" and "Azaleas Bloom in a Different Kind of Red," describing the close-knit family life among classmates. Stories depicting pure love include "For This Persistence" and "Unforgettable Youthful Years." The former is a fictional short story of ten thousand words: the mismatched love story of a young man and woman, which, through the heroine's persistent pursuit and overcoming various obstacles, finally leads to a happy ending. The latter is a realistic essay recounting the author's unforgettable experience after graduating high school, during his time working in the countryside, in his youthful and naive years, encountering a like-minded female friend whose care and consideration sparked his unrequited love for her. The documentary essay "A Cool Breeze in the Scorching Heat" recounts the story of a woman's husband losing his cell phone, receiving attention from various quarters, and ultimately recovering it. It records how an elderly woman who collects recyclables returned the phone to its owner in the sweltering heat, showcasing the kindness and honesty of the elderly woman.

　　The majority of the essays are travelogues, totaling 13 articles. Among those that received significant reader response are "A Perfect Trip to Mingyue Mountain," "Exploring an Ancient Town in a Warm Winter," and "Unforgettable Colorful Guizhou." These works not only depict the beauty of China's landscape, providing a visual feast, but also portray touching scenes of mutual help among tourists during their travels.

　　The book also includes 23 short short stories. While fictional, these stories contain elements of reality. Some reflect truth, goodness, and beauty, showcasing the brilliance of humanity, such as "Repentance" and "Love is Tolerance and Humility"; others depict stories of ordinary people in daily life, offering insights into life's philosophies, such as "Gratitude," "Good Intentions," and "A White Lie." There are also works that promote social justice and change people's conventional ways of thinking, such as *True Brothers*. These works, in terms of genre selection, plot, detailed character portrayal, and character development, have required considerable effort and time, resulting in strong reader response and positive reviews.

　　To summarize my 70 years of life experience, I wrote *Time Spectrum: Writing the Symphony of Life*, as required by a memoir. The text reflects my growth process from birth to childhood, adolescence, youth, middle age, and old age. Although the 25,000-word piece is rather thin, it is sufficient to represent my general life situation. It is presented at the end of this collection of essays in the form of miscellaneous reflections, as a grand finale.

　                                                                     　July 21, 2025, Shanghai

　　Postscript

　　Every summer vacation is when I return to my hometown of Nanchang. I use this window of opportunity to do one or two things I enjoy. Since retiring, the three collections of essays I published with Jiangxi People's Publishing House were all completed during the sweltering summer months in Nanchang. According to my plan to publish a collection of essays of over 200,000 words every three years, the fourth book should be published next year. As I've entered my seventies this year, I was eager to leave something behind as a memento, and publishing a new book became my top priority.

　　This collection of literary works, *Light Clouds and Gentle Breeze*, was hastily produced under these circumstances. All 64 articles in this book were published on more than ten literary websites nationwide, with 33 published on the *China Writers Network* and 31 rejected. Compared to my 2023 collection *After the Storm*, which contains 102 articles and 250,000 words, there's a significant difference in length, but the word count is almost identical. This discovery was incredibly exciting, showing me progress and improvement.

　　However, it also came at a price. In early April this year, during an examination at the Eye Hospital affiliated with Nanchang University, I discovered I had cataracts in both eyes. On the doctor's advice, I underwent cataract surgery and recovered two months later. My cataracts were clearly related to excessive computer use for reading and writing. The doctor reminded me to pay attention to eye hygiene and safety, and to use my eyes scientifically. I said I would control my lifestyle and study pace in the future.

　　My purpose in publishing books is for my own collection and enjoyment, and to give as a keepsake to close friends, classmates, colleagues, and fellow writers from the province and city. I don't care whether they will read them carefully. Because I am self-aware—I started writing late, don't have a formal degree in Chinese literature, and my writing ability is average—I always limit each publication to less than a hundred copies. Of course, from the feedback, I've found that some teachers and friends not only read them carefully but also proactively write reviews. Among them, the documentary essay "Meeting You Again in Late Autumn" by the well-known Jiangxi writer Xiao Changyuan, published in the online literary journal *Literary Hundred Flowers Garden*, moved me deeply.

　　In my neighborhood in Shanghai, there's a fellow villager who is a retired high school teacher who graduated from the Chinese Literature Department of Jiangxi Normal University. I always give him a copy after each collection of my writings is published. Two years ago, after he returned to his hometown of Ji'an, he frequently reminded me on WeChat to make sure I saved him a copy of my new book. Therefore, after each book is published, I immediately send it to him by express delivery to Furong Town, Wan'an County, Jiangxi Province. During his time in Shanghai, I frequently sought his advice and received much help from him. I

　　would like to express my gratitude to Professor Xiao and Professor Deng for their kindness and assistance! What impressed me most was that when submitting my work to the *China Writers Network*, three of my pieces were rejected. Knowing that the editors were extremely busy reviewing thousands of manuscripts daily, and risking further rejection, I insisted on making revisions. Unexpectedly, they passed the rigorous review and were eventually published. Although the process was agonizing, it improved my writing skills and taught me that good articles are often the result of revision. I would like to express my heartfelt thanks and respect to the editors for their dedication and their respect and care for authors!

Abundant moments in clear tea

 　　As the days go by, I've come to enjoy the company of a cup of tea.

　　Not the kind of demanding environment Lin Daiyu in *Dream of the Red Chamber* described: "One must choose a quiet room, a secluded study, perhaps on a high floor, amidst trees and rocks, a mountaintop, or a waterside cliff. And on a clear, moonlit night, with incense burning and quiet contemplation, the mind free of distractions, the blood and qi at peace, only then can one unite with the spirit and the Dao." Under any tree, on any rock, on any small stool, I while away the quiet time built with a cup of tea.

　　A kettle, a cup, a handful of tea leaves…

　　I lift the kettle, the water falls, the steam rises. Leaf by leaf, some floating on the surface, some swimming, some sinking to the bottom of the cup, like newly sprouted buds in the March rain, their veins radiant, gently stretching their languid bodies. Leaves undulate in the water, water permeates the leaves, inseparable in their love.

　　A delicate fragrance wafts from the cup, gradually unfolding its aroma, and the tea liquor transforms from colorless to a pale green.

　　A sip enters the throat, bitterness and sweetness lingering on the tongue. Closing my eyes, I savor the tea, experiencing a dual cleansing of both taste buds and soul.

　　The aroma of the tea, the clarity of the water, accompany my tranquil state.

　　Stepping away from life, freeing myself from worldly affairs and interpersonal relationships, shedding all superficiality and glitz, unburdened and carefree, like an anchor cast deep within my heart, settling steadily. Giving up complaining, giving up clamor, shaking off weariness, and slowly calming my mind. Putting aside so-called longings, rivalries, and negative emotions, leaving them behind, or casting them far away.

　　In this time, untouched by intruders, like a rushing river reaching its wide downstream, converging into a vast lake, the silt slowly settling, the water becoming clear and transparent, undisturbed. Calm down, clear your mind, and your heart becomes serene and bright, as if washed clean by clear water, free of impurities and distractions.

　　Open a favorite collection of essays, slowly reading and savoring each word. Gradually, the beautiful words draw me into the world the author describes… Sometimes I close the book in deep thought, sometimes tears well up, fully enjoying the gentle breeze and soft rain within the words.

　　When the mood strikes, I lean on my desk and write a few lines, recording my feelings at that moment. The words leap out one by one with my clear thoughts… In the words, I experience my own joy, my own happiness, and my own sorrow.

　　Or perhaps I'll play some music, listening attentively to the beautiful melodies played by a musical master, letting the flowing music wash away all my worries, like picking chrysanthemums by the eastern fence, or sitting alone in a secluded bamboo grove…

　　I can recite a poem for my own enjoyment, hum a tune to myself in reverie, or think of the warm smiles of family and friends, letting my thoughts drift slowly, near or far, without forcing myself to express sorrow, savoring the joy and sadness within.

　　Sitting quietly, watching quietly, listening quietly, thinking quietly. Letting the simple leaves bloom and sublimate gently in the water, letting my thoughts drift aimlessly, a continuous stream of small joys flows through my veins.

　　Drinking, I suddenly realize. Tea, often, has no distinction of good or bad, expensive or cheap; truly good tea is not outside of us, but within our hearts, within our feelings.

　　Drinking, I gradually understand. Life is like a tea leaf; only through trials and tribulations, through pain and hardship, can one truly appreciate its essence and charm. In those ups and downs, life becomes more radiant and fragrant.

　　Alas! We often chase after unattainable goals in our busy lives, believing that success and fame are the ultimate destination, yet we miss countless beautiful things along the way. The poetry of life lies not in the accumulation of fame and fortune; it quietly hides in a cup of tea, a blade of grass, a smile, and a frown.

You don't need to turn against someone if you dislike them.

 　　In this world, no one is perfect, and right and wrong are the norm. If we delve too deeply, fuss over too much, and torment ourselves with the mistakes of others, we will only cause ourselves distress and worry. In life, there will always be people who dislike you and people you dislike.

　　Since two people have different values ​​and cannot get along, there's no need to force a connection. It's better to quietly distance yourself; there's no need to fall out and make each other unhappy, embarrassed, or even create enemies.

　　As the saying goes, those with different values ​​shouldn't be friends, and those on different levels shouldn't argue. In life and in business, it's always about having a broad perspective and avoiding being petty. The human heart is limited; the more you worry, the less happiness you have, and the more open-minded you are, the less trouble you have.

　　A person's time and energy are limited in a lifetime. If you spend your time and energy disliking others, it's a losing proposition!

　　Haruki Murakami said, "Not all fish live in the same sea." Therefore, it can be understood that people with different values ​​are like parallel lines; no matter how far they go, they will never be on the same path.

　　Different values ​​mean no need for friendship; different social levels mean no need for excessive debate, for words are superfluous when opinions clash. Eagles have their ambitions, sparrows their joys, destined to soar in different skies. Different hearts mean no need for companionship; everyone has their own values, their own lifestyle, and will inevitably live in different circles.

　　If two people have different values, they will lack resonance, will not share the same thoughts, and communication will become difficult, inevitably leading to conflict. Without shared interests and a common social circle, communication will inevitably be challenging. In life, we often find that talking to someone with incompatible values ​​is a waste of breath; they won't understand your actions and may even scoff at them. Conversing with such people will only bring negative emotions, unnecessary frustration, and unhappiness. Remember, the best way to get along with someone is to be comfortable and relaxed. Cherish those you can connect with sincerely; if not, let it go.

　　If you encounter someone you dislike, remember to avoid a confrontation that makes things awkward for both of you and makes you appear petty and lacking in emotional intelligence. If you truly cannot communicate, distancing yourself is the best approach, as peace and quiet are always welcome. As the old saying goes, "Those who walk different paths cannot make plans together, and those who have different ambitions cannot be friends." Conversely, those who share similar interests often have endless things

　　to say to each other. Every person in this world is irreplaceable. We shouldn't compromise ourselves for those who dislike us, nor should we have excessive interaction with people whose values ​​differ from our own, with whom we can't connect, or whose intentional or unintentional words or actions affect our mood and disrupt our lives. Remember, everyone's journey through life is long and lonely. In this solitary journey, we ultimately seek a soulmate who resonates with our thoughts and feelings. Instead of wasting time and energy on unimportant people, use that time and energy to enrich yourself and attract like-minded individuals to share life's joys and sorrows!

　　In life, success lies in one's vision, while failure stems from pettiness. Vision often determines the height of one's life; it is a person's magnanimity and, more importantly, their character. A person with a broad vision possesses a pure heart, like towering mountains and vast waters—the clearest and most lucid state of mind.

　　Therefore, only when one's vision is broad and one's heart is generous will one's path in life become increasingly wider. Conversely, a person with a narrow vision, a petty mind, an inability to tolerate others, and a tendency to be petty will clearly display a lack of magnanimity in their actions and words, inevitably failing to achieve great things and facing limitations in every aspect of life. Sometimes, a person's character can determine their destiny, and magnanimity is a key factor influencing one's vision. If you think calmly and observe carefully, you will find that many things in life can be adapted. When we cannot change others' opinions, or when we encounter people we dislike, it is better to appropriately correct and improve ourselves, acquiring the ability to distance ourselves from circles we do not like. I wholeheartedly agree that a person's limited vision limits their realm of understanding; limited realm of understanding limits one's vision; and limited vision limits one's life.

　　The higher you stand, the farther you see. From the second floor, you might only see litter. But from the twenty-second floor, you'll have a panoramic view of the city. Different floors offer different perspectives and mindsets.

　　Often, the people or things you dislike are simply a result of our different perspectives and viewpoints; there's no right or wrong. It's just a difference in our values ​​and levels of understanding. There's no need to dwell on it or be overly concerned.

　　As Carnegie said, "We only live a few decades, yet we waste so much time worrying about trivial matters that will be forgotten within a year. What a terrible loss!" Life

　　is fleeting, and time and energy are limited. Don't waste your energy on irrelevant people and things, and don't be too concerned about small gains. Have a clear conscience; good and bad will be clear. Don't forget those who have been kind to you, and don't hold grudges against those who trip you up. Try to calm your mind, do things with a peaceful heart. Life doesn't need to be earth-shattering; just be happy.

　　Life is difficult for everyone, so it's always best to be kind and considerate. Being too sharp-tongued and sensitive, dwelling on trivial matters, will only magnify small conflicts and disputes, escalating them into unbearable situations.

　　Time changes our mindset; the things we cared about and the people we disliked years ago, in retrospect, seem utterly insignificant, and we might even find our past behavior laughable and childish. Besides, magnifying small things only creates trouble, entanglement, and a negative mindset. Many people and situations are choices made in a split second; there are no absolute right or wrong. Being too serious and calculating can turn even the right thing into a mistake. A broad mind and a detached perspective allow even mistakes to be forgiven. The truly wise are humble, and the truly virtuous are tolerant; only the petty-wise are aggressive, and only the petty-hearted are calculating.

　　Life is a long journey; some encounters enrich the scenery, while others waste our time. But that's alright, that's life. There's no choice but to accept it and constantly improve yourself.

　　In your interactions with others, know when not to make things difficult for them, and also know when not to wrong yourself. When facing people you don't like, there's no need to burn bridges; just keep your distance. In this world, there's no need to force yourself into circles with different values; just be yourself.

　　...

　　A gentle, sunny day says: This article is from the internet and is not original.

　　(The End)

Go with the flow, strive for what is inevitable.

 　　The city is bustling, filled with the intoxicating glow of neon lights and the hustle and bustle of life. In this chaotic world, there is so much helplessness and frustration. Therefore, many people like me often say "go with the flow," spending half their lives in mediocrity, unaware that behind "go with the flow" lies the struggle for what is inevitable. Going with

　　the flow is not inaction. My understanding is that it means achieving results naturally through one's own efforts, not passively waiting for the outcome. For example, in our rural area, planting rice is a very common thing, but not every household gets the same result. If we interpret "inaction" as simply planting the rice and waiting for the golden autumn harvest, the reality is, as everyone knows, that's impossible. After planting the seeds, there's sorting, transplanting, weeding, pest control, watering, etc. If none of these are done, how can there be a harvest? Therefore, going with the flow means handling every step of any matter well to obtain the desired result, not passively waiting for the outcome!

　　Striving for what is inevitable is crucial. Not everything that happens naturally will necessarily yield the desired result. During the process of letting nature take its course, there may be uncontrollable factors that lead to less than ideal outcomes. Take rice as an example. Besides human factors, there's an even more important factor for crops: the weather. I remember when I was a child, our rice paddies were just over twenty meters from the riverbank. That spring, a particularly severe flood breached the riverbank. Our rice paddies and the neighboring paddies directly facing the breached dike lost almost all of the seedlings planted just over a week prior. This was a devastating blow for rural people. How did we handle it? How did we strive for what is inevitable? Actually, it wasn't difficult. After the flood, we reinforced the dike, cleaned the flooded rice paddies, borrowed seedlings from relatives and neighbors, and replanted the rice. We tried to let nature take its course again. While there was still an impact, it was minimal! Therefore, striving for what is inevitable isn't about being unwilling to strive for it, but about how to strive for it!

　　Human relationships and events are ever-changing; you reap what you sow. Going with the flow and striving for what is inevitable is simply the process of cause and effect!

　　Keep going, us who are striving!

My ten years in a daze

 　　 Long, long ago, there was a person who lacked self-confidence, so she was always suspicious. She was often hurt by seemingly harmless words, and even she sometimes felt she was being too dramatic and sensitive. But she couldn't help but care about what others thought, perhaps because she had never received any positive guidance growing up. The important people in her life had never praised her. When she grew up and started to have her own ideas, the message from those around her was that she had to be like them, or they would think she was a freak. Oh my god! A terrifying voice would emerge from her little world: How could you be different from them? Then, she began to confine a part of herself to a box. She felt she had to fit in, that she couldn't be alone, or it would be shameful. She also had a little scheme: she didn't like being alone. She could pretend to be popular and well-liked, so she could live a more stable and peaceful life for a while.

　　 As far back as she could remember, she seemed to have always lived like this, without ever feeling anything was wrong. Then one day, she discovered she had more and more condoms. Before, she'd just open a small opening in one, but gradually she didn't even want to open it anymore. She ate inside, she slept inside, she played inside, she befriended the condoms—in short, she could do everything inside. This was her "Shangri-La." She even considered peeking out, but then the pointing fingers came again, and she quickly escaped, quickly escaped back into the condom.

　　 Ultimately, what happened to her inside the condom? I don't know, do you? Maybe she died, maybe she's still alive, maybe there are no more condoms.

I don't know who planted the spell of words.

 　　I don't know who planted the spell of words, so that in this world, there are boys and girls who love words, amateurs who enjoy writing from time to time, and even the real profession of writer.

　　As far as I can remember, it's been a while since I published any original articles of my own. I've written a few articles about words on this writing platform, and I've also commented on other people's articles about words. The first article I wrote about words, in my mind, was titled "Words, Thank You for Accompanying My Growth."

　　I don't know who planted the spell of words, how many people in this world love words, and I especially don't know who planted the spell that makes some people so obsessed with words. I am grateful for the platform, Wenzi.com, because it has given me a new understanding of words, allowing my love for them to transcend mere "utilitarian" purposes. It has shown me the true charm of words and revealed how special women who love words truly are. They are knowledgeable, talented, yet simple and refined; calm yet confident, they don't care about appearances. For them, words are a world unto themselves. With words as their companion, they can smile serenely and quietly overcome every obstacle in life.

　　I once commented on Wenzi.com's article, "Women Who Love Words," saying, "Women who love words are deeply moved by every excellent article; they don't care much for outward glamour, focusing more on inner fulfillment; they are easily sentimental, but they also easily recover and continue striving. Because in their hearts, words are a world, a world that inspires them and uplifts their spirits." And after commenting on that article, I also admitted that I am a woman who loves words.

　　It is said that the offspring of a Gu poison must rely on the mother Gu to survive, and once someone is poisoned, it is difficult to escape the "torture" of the poison. To get rid of the "torture," the controller of the mother Gu must voluntarily release the offspring, or the mother Gu must lose its life force.

　　I don't know who planted the Gu of words to "bewitch" the hearts of us word lovers, making us willingly "sink" for words, or perhaps it is its inherent charm that captivated us word lovers.

　　Once, after reading the article "Who Planted the Gu of Words" published by Wenzijun, I was also very curious deep down: who planted the Gu of words? But now, this question is not important to me, because no matter who planted the Gu of words, every word has its own meaning.

　　By getting to know each word, encountering each article, and reading each book, we have the opportunity to understand the myriad aspects of life. Therefore, it doesn't matter who planted the Gu of words.

　　I don't know who planted the Gu of words, but I don't think it matters. What do you think?

　　...

　　(The End)