At 19, my life became about finding ways to make money.

 　　A lot happened to me when I was 19. First, I realized the person I liked was actually disgusting, and I lost all desire for love.

　　Second, I realized that pursuing education wouldn't be any better than dropping out, and I didn't want to be a naive student anymore.

　　Third, I realized that if philosophy and literature couldn't be converted into money, it meant there was something wrong with my abilities and thinking, or that I wasn't diligent enough. From someone who wrote pure literature and insisted on reading pure literature, resigned to my fate, I went into commercial writing. From initial resistance to later complete certainty that I was just a vulgar person who liked money and stories. I left the dream of saving the world to others.

　　 Fourth, although my parents didn't earn much money and had very outdated views, offering no other quality options besides learning a trade or teaching, I still chose to compromise and earn some money first. I resolutely refuse to talk about sentimentality, dreams, poetry, or distant places. Even if it's vulgar, I just want to keep expressing myself and then make money. Putting myself on a pedestal is just being pathetic.

　　The fifth thing I learned is to not value knowledge as much as I value reading and writing. If something can't be monetized or help me make money, I won't pay attention to it. I stop browsing Zhihu (a Chinese Q&A website), and I no longer write whatever I want. I've even shed laziness, the so-called "reading mindset" and emotions, and that composed demeanor. I write what others want to read, I write about emotions, and I've carefully defined my target audience as women under 25 with a little spare cash. I'm just an ordinary, down-to-earth woman; I'm no longer trying to be high-class. I'm not an elite, so I won't become one. Waiting ten years to hone your skills is too much of a waste of time!

　　The sixth thing I realized is that becoming more grassroots and ordinary is an inevitable trend, and younger people are a normal part of it. The money we can earn always depends on our own efforts—keeping an eye on trends, thinking critically, and acting decisively. Even reselling knowledge through platforms is acceptable. Earning money gives me freedom and is the fastest way to increase the value of my time.

Instead of thinking about why I can't make money or why my writing is bad, I should try to focus on developing ideas instead of focusing on my shortcomings! Everyone's abilities are about the same; it's just a matter of experience, effort, and hard work. When you have nothing, you can't just do anything and still try your best.