It's often said that people with good tempers are blessed, and that they are certainly well-mannered. No matter the situation, we should never be slaves to our emotions; we must learn to control our emotions, not be controlled by them. I
just saw this article on the WeChat official account "Reading with Style," and I thought it was quite good, so I'm sharing it with you all.
In this world, encountering setbacks is perfectly normal, and experiencing occasional annoyances and frustrations in life is also perfectly normal. However, if emotions erupt, normal things can become abnormal.
American social psychologist Festinger has a famous judgment known as "Festinger's Law": 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.
Festinger once gave this example:
A couple, the husband, while washing up in the morning, casually placed his expensive watch on the sink. The wife, afraid it would get wet, casually took it and placed it on the dining table. Their son went to the table to get bread and accidentally dropped the watch, breaking it.
The husband was furious and gave their son a good spanking, then berated his wife with a long face. The wife protested, saying it was for his own good; otherwise, what if his watch got wet? The husband, however, thought she was worrying unnecessarily; his watch was waterproof.
The couple had a huge argument, and in a fit of anger, the husband left without eating breakfast and drove to work. Near the office, he realized he'd forgotten his briefcase and immediately turned back home.
His wife was at work, their son at school, and the keys were in his briefcase, so he couldn't get in and had to call his wife for the keys. The wife rushed home, knocking over a fruit stand and having to pay for the damages.
After getting his briefcase back, the husband was already 15 minutes late and received a scolding from his boss. His mood was terrible, and before leaving work, he got into an argument with a colleague over a trivial matter.
The wife also lost her perfect attendance bonus for leaving early, and their son, playing baseball that day, performed poorly due to his bad mood, being eliminated in the first inning.
In this case, the broken watch was 10% of the problem, while the subsequent series of events constituted the other 90%. If the husband hadn't lost his temper in a moment of anger, the remaining 90% of the misfortunes wouldn't have occurred.
Looking closely at our daily lives, don't similar stories often happen around us?
There's a saying that reminds drivers: "Better to stop for three minutes than risk one second." When encountering any unpleasant situation, whenever our hearts are troubled, we should remind ourselves to stay calm. Don't say whatever comes to mind, because words spoken are like spilled water—they can't be taken back.
Why is it that a person with a bad temper lacks good fortune?
First, a bad temper also leads to poor interpersonal relationships. Everyone has dignity and cares about their image. If you keep dwelling on someone's minor flaws, they will definitely be unhappy, regardless of what kind of person they are. In short, the distance between you will widen. Bystanders will also keep their distance.
Good interpersonal relationships open up more opportunities, so good fortune naturally follows.
Second, a temper easily leads to irrationality; impulsiveness is the devil, so don't lose your temper easily. History provides numerous examples to support this.
When Liu Bang was at a disadvantage in his struggle for power against Xiang Yu, Han Xin conquered Shandong and sent someone to Liu Bang, saying that the people of Shandong were unruly and needed a high-ranking official to maintain order. Han Xin requested that Liu Bang appoint Han Xin as a "false king" of Qi.
Initially, Liu Bang was furious, already overwhelmed by Xiang Yu's defeats. Instead of helping him, Han Xin demanded an official position. He slammed his fist on the table, about to erupt in anger, when his advisor stepped on his foot as a reminder. He then snapped out of his rage and shouted, "What 'false king'? Give me a real king! Issue my order: appoint General Han as 'false king'!"
Without Chen Ping's warning, Liu Bang's outburst might have ruined the Han dynasty, and the empire might have fallen to Xiang Yu instead.
Most importantly, a bad temper is harmful to health. Psychological studies show that being unfriendly and easily angered increases the risk of coronary heart disease and hypertension, and temperament is also related to lung function.
Traditional Chinese medicine also believes that people with bad tempers and prone to anger often have liver dysfunction or even organic lesions, which TCM often attributes to "liver fire."
The Romance of the Three Kingdoms recounts how Zhou Yu, in his battle of wits with Zhuge Liang, consistently lost, and his anger flared up, leading to a fatal attack of his heart disease. Before his death, he lamented, "Since Heaven gave birth to Yu, why did it also give birth to Liang?" A bad
temper truly shouldn't be excessive; if it is, one should try to manage it. Some say that temper and fortune are inversely proportional; the worse the
temper, the worse the fortune, and the better the temper, the better the fortune. I believe this is true. If a disabled person becomes self-conscious or gives up on themselves because of their disability, and lacks a
good temper, they cannot emerge from darkness into light; if a person suffering from a chronic illness is constantly irritable due to depression, they won't live long either. People with good tempers have good moods, good health, and smooth sailing in all aspects
of life. Having a good temper brings good fortune, and thus, everything. Therefore, wise and rational people will not let a bad temper affect their daily luck!
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