I just saw a news article about PUA (Pick-Up Artist) techniques, teaching men how to manipulate women into a sadomasochistic relationship by attacking their self-esteem, and even encouraging them to commit suicide for him. As mentioned in "The Blind Side," women are easily drawn into sadomasochistic relationships to achieve a sense of purity, and they readily choose submission as the price of true love. The problem is, life isn't a novel; there's no sweetness after the torture, only more torture and an abyss.
PUA men's manipulation of people's hearts isn't sophisticated. Joining a PUA group requires money; they are also payers in the profit chain, and whether they can actually deceive is another matter. Whether a woman falls for PUA tactics has little to do with her education level, income, or social status; it's related to her psychological needs.
The PUA tactics in the news article can be summarized as pampering and humiliation. As Lao Tzu said, "Pampering and humiliation are both shocking." Pampering you is actually humiliating you. Someone who loves you will never pamper you; instead, they want you to maintain a high level of self-reliance, independence, and the ability to survive. Your parents wouldn't tolerate your spoiled, unruly behavior and insisting on sleeping in their arms at night; otherwise, try it and they'd definitely call you crazy. Someone who loves you wants you to evolve; someone who pampers you wants you to regress, to the point where one day, no matter how much they humiliate you, you can't leave them.
Treat praise and criticism with the same caution as facing a major calamity, and find ways to eliminate them. Be wary of anyone outside your circle of friends or family who praises or criticizes you, even if they try; tell them to get lost.
Girls with distorted psychological needs like smooth-talking, charming men, and men with unreliable behavior; in short, a man isn't lovable unless he's a little bad. Those who enjoy sadomasochistic relationships and crave pampering will attract humiliation.
Men with distorted psychological needs like women who are coquettish, weak, indecisive, and whose focus is on beauty and manipulating relationships. They won't say "I love you" unless you give them gifts, coax them, or spend money on them. Those who crave to pamper others
will also crave to exploit those who do. Both types of people always complain about not meeting good men or women. Honestly, good men don't pamper, they only love; good women don't unilaterally exploit you. When you have a bad aura, don't blame yourself for attracting bad people.
French love is as diverse as food; French films depict all kinds of romantic relationships, satisfying complex psychological needs. They talk about these psychological needs not to conform to them, but to understand them and consider them as a way of life. Even if they engage in sadomasochism, they have their own aesthetics and manners.
China has historically lacked a concept of love, only ethical values. We emphasize cultivation and thought, but this serves the social structure; we don't discuss love at all.
Modern love in China is an imported concept, backed by complex interest chains. Our view of love is merely shaped by these commodities and cultures. As Eileen Chang said, modern people read romance novels first, then experience love.
Love is a culture, and aren't intellectuals just fabricating culture to serve political goals? Isn't it commonplace that this is often said? The Republic of China needed proactive individuals, so it promoted freedom of love and opposed arranged marriages.
To give another example, diamonds were easy to mine many years ago. Business geniuses told people that diamonds are forever, a diamond is forever, and this advertising has been running for a century. Now many people believe that diamonds represent love and are not easily resold; demand and prices have stabilized.
PUA is also a product, a distorted culture of relationships. It's not just those who believe in love who fall for it. Brainwashed by foreign erotic films, pursuing sexual openness, playing with emotions, even those simply curious about the opposite sex can be susceptible, falling into a confused and chaotic life. Everyone is at risk.
Human nature is complex. Following human nature reveals that we are animals; we all have the same desires to attack and conquer the opposite sex. Humans can be in heat 365 days a year, more animalistic than animals, and more cruel than animals when uncontrolled. Serial killers kill without regard for consequences, with a large element of chance, far less calm and patient than animals that patiently wait for their prey.
What makes us human is not human nature, but rather going against it, returning to the source, and imposing limitations. The history of human civilization is about asceticism, not indulgence; it's about being as clear-headed as possible, because both ignorance and indulgence come at a huge price. Our emphasis on moral cultivation is about training ourselves to go against human nature.
Human nature cannot withstand the test because we always think that going against human nature is human nature. But when we try, we realize that we still have that animalistic part within us.
When a person stops pursuing things that go against human nature, feels that old-fashioned moral values should be trampled on, and turns to pursuing human pleasures, exhausting themselves to satisfy their numerous needs, that person is about to be in trouble.
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