Many people apologize not to say "I'm sorry,"
but to elicit a "It's okay" from the other person.
-1-
Student A was poor. Student B went missing money and insisted that Student A had stolen it.
In front of everyone, he searched Student A's wardrobe, scattering clothes all over the floor, and berated him for being a scoundrel from a poor, remote place.
When the money wasn't found, Student B went around slandering Student A, saying he must be a repeat
offender.
Student A, because of this stain, lost his scholarship that year. It wasn't much, only three thousand yuan, but it was a huge amount to him.
Student A became increasingly withdrawn, eating alone, going to class alone, like a silent shadow.
Until one day, during a dormitory cleaning, the missing money was found
lying in a crevice at the bottom of Student B's drawer.
Student B apologized to Student A, but Student A was more furious than ever before. He pounded the table furiously, grinding his teeth, and
slammed the door shut before Student B could finish speaking.
Student B said, "It's no big deal. I already apologized. Is he really
making a fuss?" From then on, he stopped calling A a thief and started telling everyone that A was petty and narrow-minded, asking why
he would make such a big deal out of such a small misunderstanding. That year, A's father, because of the unexpected loss of his student aid—or more accurately, because of the lost 100 yuan—
went to do odd jobs and was hit on the leg by a falling beam.
-2-
Rumors spread among the girls overnight that the pretty girl in the class had a questionable romantic history. The
story spread like wildfire, embellished and varied.
Later, when the girl wanted to borrow her roommate's clothes rack, it was snatched away: "Who knows if you have any sexually transmitted diseases?"
She froze, speechless, wrung out the clothes, and hung them directly on the windowsill. From then on, her clothes were never hung with theirs.
At that time, the girl had a boyfriend of two years and was preparing to get married after graduation. The boyfriend's mother came to visit her son at school and overheard some gossip. She went home and refused to approve of the relationship, and that's how
they broke up. It wasn't until graduation night, when everyone was drunk, that another girl, tipsy, approached her, holding a glass, and told her that she had always secretly loved her boyfriend and, out of jealousy, had fabricated some rumors, never expecting them to spread like this.
She apologized and begged for forgiveness.
The usually strong-willed girl suddenly burst into tears, crying even harder than during the previous breakup. Trembling, she gritted her teeth and said, "I'll never forgive you, not even if I die."
The atmosphere became awkward. The girl who had apologized turned around and snapped, "Fine, I won't forgive you then. What's the big deal?" -3- Many years ago, there was a South Korean movie called *Secret Sunshine*.
It tells the story of a middle-aged woman who lost her husband and came to Miryang alone with her son. Just as she was about to start a new life, her son was murdered. Devastated, she became a believer. Her followers advised her to learn forgiveness, and she prayed and recited scriptures daily, truly believing she could forgive the criminal. Until she visited him in prison, the murderer of her son peacefully told her that he had already received God's forgiveness long before she forgave him. The woman went mad, angrily storming out of the prison and embarking on a furious revenge. She hadn't forgiven him; why should God forgive him? Why? -4- A person pushes another person into the water, then tries to save them, but in the process, loses their phone. Once they're both ashore, the person who pushed the other into the water complains, "I lost my phone trying to save you." "He won't remember that just now, the person he pushed into the water almost lost their life. -5- Two children were playing when one splashed a cup of boiling water on the other, causing extensive burns and the child to wail incessantly. The injured child's parents harshly scolded the one who splashed the water. The other child's parents, however, defended him: 'He's just a kid, he made a mistake, apologized, what more does he want?'" -6- It's not that I don't want to forgive you, it's that I can't forgive you. Because once those two words are uttered, I can no longer face the self that cried all night, suffering so much. I can't betray my past self, I can't betray my heart, it's still suffering, what right do I have to forgive you? Yes, you apologized. Your apology has brought snow to my heart, washing away those grievances and injustices. But before that, the torment and humiliation I endured, the loss of dignity and life, cannot be erased. Cannot be erased. It's there, in nightmares, in tears, in a fate filled with setbacks. Everyone knows "repay evil with kindness," but few know that after these four words comes "how to repay kindness." Repay evil with kindness, how to repay kindness? So, how to repay evil? Confucius said, repay evil with justice. In the movie "Dearest," Huang Bo said to the wife of a human trafficker, "At most, I can stop hating you, that's the limit." I don't hate you, that's all I can do. -7- In my youth, I watched *The Return of the Condor Heroes*. Master Yideng dragged the dying Qiu Qianren to Ying Gu's side, begging for forgiveness. Many years ago, Qiu Qianren wasn't the dying Qiu Qianren he was now. Back then, he possessed unparalleled martial arts skills, and with a single palm strike to the chest of Ying Gu's newborn child, he would let out a hearty laugh. The child was gone, and Ying Gu lived her life consumed by hatred. Years later, she met the murderer, but the one who killed her child and the dying old man before her seemed to be different people. Master Yideng advised her to let go of her attachments. Thoughts lead to liberation from suffering. As a child, sitting in front of the television, watching Qiu Qianren's desperate pleas, I felt a pang of sympathy and secretly blamed Ying Gu for her stubbornness. Only now, having understood the truth that all beings suffer, do I understand Ying Gu's heartless nature. It wasn't that she didn't want to forgive, but once those words were uttered, she couldn't face the child she had lost decades ago in infancy. The one who suffered that slap was her child; what right did she have to forgive? " I've already apologized, why won't you forgive? " Because you understand neither resentment nor forgiveness.
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