They talked for over 60 hours, attracting 100 million viewers, leaving us with these 100 pieces of life advice.
Author | Mr. Mo Duo Source | Mr. Mo Duo
The show "Roundtable Talk," with a high rating of 9.2 on Douban, is something many people have watched. Listening to a few "knowledgeable" people chat is neither pretentious nor affected, making it a true enjoyment.
Of course, besides entertainment, I've also summarized 100 of the most inspiring life lessons from all three seasons of the show, sincerely recommending them to everyone
. Save this; I believe it will definitely help you.
One: On Interpersonal Relationships
01. In society, some people like to measure themselves by "face." But those who care about face are often the weak; those who give face are the strong.
02. "Playing dumb" is a rational calculation under pre-capitalism. Those people squander all their wealth to show off their status and gain face.
03. True maturity is accepting imperfections and disappointments, and maturity often means having a sense of proportion.
04. Many people like cats because the relationship between cats and humans is our ideal interpersonal relationship. It keeps you company without interfering. You must respect its space and independence, and not harass it excessively; there are boundaries between you.
05. But sometimes, people have to trouble each other, otherwise you'll become increasingly lonely.
06. When asking someone for a favor, those three words are the most annoying—"What are you doing?"
07. To make friends with someone, observe if they have any quirks. As the saying goes, "One cannot befriend someone without quirks, for they lack deep feelings. "
08. Don't befriend someone without quirks; conversely, if someone can be passionately fond of something, they can also be passionately fond of you.
09. Sometimes in conversation, you have to go along with the flow. Going along doesn't mean you have no opinions, but it makes everyone happier.
10. In this society, who doesn't have joys and sorrows? But you have no right to broadcast other people's affairs to the whole society.
11. When interacting with people who don't agree with you, there's no need to punch them in the face. You can have your own stance, but it's best if that stance promotes harmony.
12. Never have expectations of those who have hurt you; once a precedent for hurt is set, it becomes easier for it to happen again.
Part Two: On Effort and Adversity
13. We are all ordinary people; don't be afraid to lose. Do what you are capable of.
14. Some people live in first-tier cities but are actually third-tier city dwellers; others live in third-tier cities but might be first-tier city dwellers.
15. You must either work extremely hard or be extremely intelligent to barely survive a mediocre life.
16. Knowing when to retreat is a kind of wisdom in adversity.
17. A person's resilience is their ability to withstand pressure; when under pressure, they determine what is most important to them.
18. When you suffer external pressure, imagine you live in a glass dome. You can see the outside world, but pretend you can't hear it. You live inside the dome, and no one can hurt you.
19. Even the most brilliant person only expresses their own understanding of the world. You are not here to perform perfection, but to experience; only through experience can you progress.
20. When people cry in their youth, it's mostly out of grievance; when they cry in their old age, it's mostly out of emotion.
21. Have some fear of aging, but don't resist it. If you master more methods to welcome your aging, I think you'll be more composed when the time comes.
22. Sooner or later, we will all be abandoned by many things; sooner or later, we will become outdated; sooner or later, our own bodies will abandon us; sooner or later, we will all grow old and die. Everything is changing.
23. Insecurity is the norm in this world. There is no such thing as absolute security. We don't even know if the roof will collapse while we're filming this program.
24. Marx said that all solid things will eventually dissolve. So the point isn't to seek security, but to understand that in such an insecure world, you have no choice but to accept it.
25. Many people struggle with what they do today. For example, if you go out to work and it involves interpersonal relationships, you absolutely cannot stay in your comfort zone.
26. Because if you choose to stay in your comfort zone, it will gradually shrink, and you will eventually regress to an infantile state. This is a case of "if you don't move forward, you fall behind."
Three: On Wealth and Poverty
27. What is poverty? It's when your desires exceed your income by even one dollar.
28. In economics, there are two clear concepts: one is "want," meaning what I want; the other is poverty, where the poor solve the problem of "needs," meaning what they absolutely must have.
29. In today's society, money can solve more and more problems. Some things that didn't require money in the past, such as interpersonal relationships, dignity, a healthy life, family life, and neighborhood life.
30. People who ask "what to do if I'm short of money" aren't truly "poor," but rather people who need money to drink wine, buy bags, and whose income can't keep up with their desires, creating a feeling of "shortage."
31. For most people, the wealth we can achieve isn't a numerical concept but a psychological state. If we can't control our desires, abundance becomes an unattainable state.
32. People must learn to control their desires, and the best way to do so is to immediately find satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment in pleasures that don't cost much money.
33. Being rich means your desires are always one dollar less than your wealth; otherwise, you'll never be rich.
34. As for whether young people should buy a house, the answer is simple: if you have money, buy; but if it's difficult, you should rent.
35. The biggest criterion for buying a house is that you should make your current life as good as possible. Otherwise, you've wasted your youth, you've wasted the most priceless part of your twenties.
36. If your entire lifestyle in your twenties is distorted, if you do things you shouldn't, the cost is greater than the house; never do that.
IV: On Self and Independence
37. To succeed, one must first overcome two hurdles: rumors and slander.
38. When you're alone in society, no one is with you. Your only option is to have thick skin; if you don't, you're just waiting to die.
39. Everyone should just live the life that makes them happy. There's no need to judge others by your own standards, nor to judge yourself by others' standards.
40. Truly respectable people don't need expensive clothes; their inherent value speaks for itself.
41. People who are disciplined about their physique are far more reliable than those who are indulgent. A person's ability is sometimes reflected not only in their competence but also in their willpower to control their physique.
42. Independence, not dependence, is the beginning of autonomy. True confidence comes not from exploiting others, but from equality for all.
43. Without reading, your world will be narrow, and your aesthetic sense will be hijacked by those around you or by various mindless dramas; without reading, your values will be determined by your relatives and friends.
44. Always be vigilant about your words and actions, because the punch that knocks down your opponent is often delivered by your weaker left hand.
45. An ideal is inherently unattainable; what can be achieved is not an ideal, but a goal.
V: On the Workplace and Work
46. "Going to work" and "working" are completely different things. Most people say they "don't want to go to work," but they don't actually "don't want to work."
47. You can choose not to go to work and do whatever you want, as long as you can afford the corresponding price.
48. A good employee doesn't necessarily have to flatter others; it's enough if they act with self-respect and dignity, taking responsibility for their actions and choices.
49. Whether a job can be done often depends on whether the person is reliable. For example, whether you can write is secondary, because with enough effort, you can learn quickly.
50. To say someone is reliable at work is essentially to say they are responsible towards others. It's not something you deliberately try to show; it's something that has become a habit.
51. There's a huge difference in reliability between people. Some people think, "What I say doesn't mean you heard it; what I do doesn't mean I've done it." Some people can clean a toilet better than others. That's how big the difference in ability and character is between people.
52. A reliable person, in their dealings with people, things, work, and friends, may not have a strong personality, but over time, others will feel that you are trustworthy, responsible, thoughtful, considerate, and caring towards friends.
53. Exceptional talents are rare, but reliable, responsible, and trustworthy people are also good people. These are qualities that everyone can strive to achieve.
54. Young people shouldn't jump ship at the slightest dissatisfaction. Every company has problems; you'll encounter uncomfortable situations no matter which company you join.
55. Work is about solving problems. If there were no problems, would you even need to do it? Would you be paid if there were no problems?
56. Be very careful when changing jobs. There's a saying, "You should only jump ship if your income increases by at least 30%," otherwise it's not worthwhile.
57. When you move to a new environment, you need an adaptation and adjustment period. Whether you can adapt or whether you're suitable are all questions, and there are risks involved.
Six: The Art of Dining Out
58. It's only been 30 years since the Chinese have had enough to eat, but it took three generations to develop a taste for fine food.
59. Chinese dinner parties are usually not for tasting food, but for various other purposes. Choosing a restaurant and ordering dishes requires careful planning based on the nature of the dinner party.
60. In China, there's no problem that a dinner party can't solve, but organizing one is not an easy task.
61. Who you invite to dinner is very important. For example, there are some people you shouldn't invite to dinner; that's a big taboo.
62. In Shanghai, if you want to invite someone to dinner through a friend, the friend will usually say, "First, ask when they're available, and then confirm the dinner."
63. In Beijing, a friend might say, "That person will definitely come as soon as I call," and set the time for the meal in advance. However, the other person might not have time, so it often gets postponed. This also shows the difference between the North and the South.
64. A complete meal involves various people, such as the host, the "guests" (hired specifically to create a lively atmosphere and crack jokes), the "guest manager" (the guest's guest, responsible for filling in any gaps in the guest's schedule), and the "guest servant" (the one who pays the bill)
. 65. Ordering food when inviting someone to dinner is an art. For example, each restaurant only has 1-2 core dishes that are always on the menu. The dishes recommended by the waiter are usually expensive, have high commissions, or are high-volume, unsold items, such as seafood.
66. You can best understand a person at a restaurant, such as how quickly they eat, whether they look at the food, and how long they look at it.
67. People who enjoy drinking may reveal multiple personalities, but drinking is only one aspect, not necessarily the final one.
7. On Love and Mate Selection:
68. Men are passionate and deeply affectionate; women are loyal yet ruthless.
69. The more effort put into love, the more fragile it becomes.
70. A truly lasting intimate relationship doesn't offer illusions, but rather the ability to escape illusions and enter reality.
71. A woman can choose not to marry, but she shouldn't marry down. I don't need the whole world to love me; the person I love just needs to love me. I feel that others loving me is a burden.
72. It's easy to gain someone, but it's difficult to gain their lifelong commitment.
73. No two people are perfectly matched; they must compromise and change to walk the same path.
74. Love and blind dates are completely different things. Blind dates are about calculating conditions because they allow you to experience the various aspects of society and human nature.
75. The biggest problem with blind dates can be summed up in two words: disappointment. The people you meet are all based on your ideal conditions, and 99.99% of them don't meet those standards.
76. Don't love for the sake of love. Learn to build a complete and independent self, instead of constantly feeling empty and needing to fill the void.
77. Learn to forgive yourself. Don't pass on the injustices one person inflicted on the next.
78. Showing affection in public, arguing in private. After breaking up, then badmouthing the person you always praised... What matters is mutual feelings. Don't burden the relationship unnecessarily.
79. In a relationship, all the extra effort you put in compared to your partner is voluntary. Don't hold grudges. Resentment will gradually turn those efforts into chains.
80. Relationships require nurturing and reflection. Don't sacrifice your partner for meaningless insights and lessons.
Eight: On Married Life
81. Women, don't say you don't cherish a man once you have him. Ask yourself, do you continuously exude charm towards a man you've won over?
82. Don't say you did this or that for someone; you did it all for yourself.
83. No matter how much you love each other, leave each other some space. The ultimate meaning of love is to integrate into life, not to dominate it.
84. Some words, once spoken, can never be truly undone.
85. Between husband and wife, once a sense of indebtedness arises, it can only accumulate until it becomes unbearable and impossible to repay.
86. When arguing, first repeat three times in your mind, "We're arguing because we're not on the same wavelength."
87. Many intense arguments are caused by trivial matters, leading each other further and further apart. In short: Man: "This is unreasonable and illogical," Woman: "Why won't you comfort me? You don't
love me at all."
88. The deeper the love between two people, the more unguardedly they reveal their weaknesses and pain to each other. These are things that need to be understood and gently cherished, not used as weapons in arguments.
89. Modern marriage emphasizes equality of personality and mutual growth; traditional marriage emphasizes division of labor and mutual benefit.
90. If you objectify women, women will objectify you. If you see women as reproductive tools, women will treat you as an ATM.
91. If we truly believe that security can be built on a husband who won't abandon us, or a job that will support us well for life, I think that's very unreliable.
92. What is infidelity? Infidelity presupposes a track, a norm; deviating from that norm is infidelity. But in modern society, what constitutes a norm is increasingly challenged, for example, with so-called open marriage.
Nine: Reflections on Society
93. The values of this society are distorted. For example, the same thing happening to an attractive person is a legend, but happening to an unattractive person is just a misfortune.
94. People are concentrated in one place, instilled with the same values and the same lifestyle, hence the exhaustion. 95.
Young people are often confused about the future, but the most terrifying thing is remaining confused in old age. Many people can survive on a single interest, but the world today is dazzling and confusing. Two bowls of rice before one's eyes, a single wild goose in one's heart.
96. Only an unhappy society forces everyone to be so hungry and thirsty. Low desires are a luxury in today's society.
97. A carefully crafted persona is a conspiracy, seemingly intentional yet unintentional, where all parties in society feign ignorance.
98. A society where the average young person aspires to be like Jack Ma, Zhang Ziyi, or Fan Bingbing is doomed to collapse.
99. Often, those who move us in society today are not our closest relatives, but complete strangers.
100. Values must be formed through one's own thinking and judgment, not simply accepted from others. Such values are unstable; encountering setbacks can suddenly overturn everything, leading to doubt and nihilism.
*Author: Mr. Mo Duo, Master of Peking University, winner of the UK Interactive Talent Award, internet entrepreneur, columnist, focusing on workplace and personal growth.
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